In Moderation

Thanksgiving Without Guilt

• Rob Lapham, Liam Layton • Season 1 • Episode 111

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What if Thanksgiving didn’t come with a side of guilt? We dive into a saner way to handle the holiday table, where a single boundary—don’t leave the table sick—does more for your well-being than any frantic plan to “burn off” your meal the next day. Along the way, we get delightfully opinionated about dry turkey, mid stuffing, and the eternal debate over mashed potatoes, while keeping the focus on what matters most: people, presence, and peace of mind.

We unpack why the scale often jumps after big meals and why it’s not fat gain. Think sodium, water retention, extra food mass, and a temporary carb bump. Give it a few days of normal eating, sleep, and easy movement, and that number drifts back without punishment workouts or crash resets. We also call out the holiday procrastination spiral—Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then New Year’s—and show how to enjoy the day and still keep your momentum. A simple plate approach can help if you like structure, but conversation makes the best portion control: eat slower, ask questions, listen, and you’ll naturally hit “enough” without counting a single gram.

Beyond tactics, we open up about the mindset shifts that make maintenance stick. The real work isn’t just swapping recipes; it’s addressing why food became a coping tool in the first place. That’s where community and coaching shine—helping you replace all-or-nothing thinking with flexible habits you can trust. Laugh with us through the hot takes, keep the plate you love, and leave the table feeling good, not guilty.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a calmer holiday game plan, and leave a quick review to help others find us. Your support keeps these conversations going.

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to Mouth Kiss Between Friends.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I like this show way better than what we normally do. It might be a little tough since we're all in different states or countries, but we'll make it work.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, unless we'll be a state of you guys sooner or later, right? Speak of states, the DeLorean.

SPEAKER_01:

No. Um the freaking, yeah, Rob's always talking about the all-dressed chips. Got these from Lay's. You guys gotta pick these up, man. They are good. I haven't had them in a while. I have had them before, but I forgot. They're like ketchup y, but good. Not just like pure ketchup. It's like they reined in the ketchup enough, and there's something, and there's enough of the other things in there, and it's really good.

SPEAKER_02:

It's not quite barbecue, it's not quite ketchup, it's it's some kind of marriage between the two with some extra Canadian magic in there.

SPEAKER_01:

Because I'm tired of like sour cream and onion and what's the what are the other ones they're always? Salt and vinegar. Salt and vinegar.

SPEAKER_02:

Like it's good, but maybe there's always a cool ranch. Give us some novelty. And something we haven't seen. You know, Prinkles just came out with a hickory smoked bacon flavor, which I've not tried yet.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm not weary of bacon because people fuck it up too easily. You ever eat something with bacon flavor, and you're like, what were you doing? Who told you what bacon tastes like?

SPEAKER_02:

Like turkey bacon, for example. Speaking of turkey, yes. Oh, solid segue right there. Um, smooth. Liam, there's a scandal afoot.

SPEAKER_01:

There's a sc there's many scandals afoot. Which one are we discussing right now?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh, this one I've not brought up with you yet. I wanted to wait until I saw you in uh digital person. Let me well, I mean, she told me she wouldn't share those pictures with anyone, but all right, go ahead. Well, I just want to commend your performance in those pictures, but we'll get to that a different time. So you see this picture right here. See some two handsome gentlemen that have been putting out some quality content. Now I said that there was a scandal afoot. Uh something I noticed about your video. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh, from the show. You used that picture? There's another where there's a much better one where you can see both my shoes. Oh, okay. This is where I saw it. It's a little bit more.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, but this one right here. Liam, you're wearing two different colored shoes. I wanted to ask what it comes this way.

SPEAKER_01:

I went to the store and I was looking at Converse as I wanted to do because I'm a Converse man. I don't know if you guys have seen iRobot with Will Smith. Solid movie. But it's like the 2050 in the movie, and he's like, Converse are still good. Like they're retro in the movie, but he's still wearing them. I'm like, yo, he's right. Like, Converse are gonna be around forever because they are just a fucking sexy ass shoe. They're a good shoe. And so I'm looking at the Converse as I'm one to do, and I'm looking at the black and the red ones, and I'm like, I like both of these a lot. High top, oh, just so nice. And I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna buy both of these fuckers, and I'm gonna wear one of each. So I got a red shoe, I got red on one and black on the other. Now, when those fade out, or like those, you know, do that, then I just switch them and I got another pair. So I'm still wearing two pairs, I still got two pairs of shoes. How smart is that? It's the best, it's the best decision I've made.

SPEAKER_00:

It really makes me feel like you're going bowling because whenever you go bowling, you get the bowling alley shoes, they're red and black.

SPEAKER_01:

Mine are usually I guess they're kind of like multicolored or whatever. I I went to the DMV for my car and I got like four people that walked to me. I like those shoes. I was like, thank you. I feel like this was a great decision.

SPEAKER_02:

You know what? I gotta say, those shoes are no turkey. That is uh some juicy meat you got right there. It's like no cap. I think this is a a new yeah, no cap, as the kids say.

SPEAKER_01:

I've never whatever new says it's it up in Ohio. I'm not even gonna look it up. I'm not even gonna look up what it means. I'm just gonna wait until it changes shortly for until something else. I'm too old for this at this point. What is six seven? I don't know. We discussed absolutely no idea. It's a good polyrhythm. I have you you could tell me it's anything, and I'd be like, yeah, okay. Sounds good. That's fine. That sounds fine. Wait till it I'm gonna wait till it's 6'9 again. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

Man, shrinkflation is affecting everything.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh that's what it is. It's 69. A little bit off the top.

SPEAKER_02:

That's can't even afford a good 69 anymore.

SPEAKER_01:

We can only afford 6'7.

SPEAKER_00:

I think we've just figured out what 6'7 is.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, fuck, that's good. It's shrinkflation. I mean, it's so like that shit's everywhere. I saw like a video of like some college basketball, or not even maybe even high school. I don't know. And they were like, it was two free throws to make it 67. 67 points. And like the crowd went wild when she hit both of them. I was like, this is crazy. People are all in on this, and I have no idea what it is or what it means.

SPEAKER_02:

I think by the time you get merch out there for it, it's already probably out of the press.

SPEAKER_01:

It's already gone.

SPEAKER_02:

It's already gone.

SPEAKER_01:

That's why we need to do all like the retro and vintage stuff. It just stays. We're good.

SPEAKER_02:

Can't wait for laser discs to come back. That's I've invested thousands of dollars in laser discs. It's I'm sure they're coming back around.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, everything records have come back now. Like everybody's talking about records. Betamax.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm going all in on the Commodore 64.

SPEAKER_01:

What the hell's a Betamax? I don't even know.

SPEAKER_02:

It was like it was the there was VHS and there was Betamax, and they were kind of like going head to head to see which one would become media.

SPEAKER_00:

Wait, you you really didn't know Betamax?

SPEAKER_01:

Um I'm in I'm in the dark. I'm with 6'7 on this one. I don't know what's going on. Wow. Um Betamax. I had VHS, that's all I'm old. I'm the youngest one here. I think I just missed it, I guess. I just went right to VHS. What was VHS? How did people play movies before VHS? They just didn't?

SPEAKER_02:

You just went to the theater? They hallucinated.

SPEAKER_01:

They actually went out and did shit. Yeah, they had porn did stuff.

SPEAKER_02:

They had to visit a big room with a screen in it and eat popcorn with their hands or do other things with their hands if you're Pee Wee Herman.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Man, going to a like a porn theater has to be a real choice. Like, I can't imagine walking in with just like there's tons of other people, and you just sit down to watch porn with all of them. I can't even pee if somebody else walks into the bathroom. I don't even want to use one of those trough urnals. Yeah, hold on. Let me go to the theater to get boners with strangers. I I that's a that's a real choice that I'm glad I've never made.

SPEAKER_02:

And please two tickets to the 230 boner matinee.

SPEAKER_01:

What's playing? I don't care. My life's a wreck anyway, clearly. What do you think I care?

SPEAKER_02:

That'd be the worst time for the guy with the flashlight to come into the room. We can check it for everybody's tickets.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh no. I don't even I didn't even think about that.

SPEAKER_02:

Why is there popcorn all over the floor at the corner scene?

SPEAKER_00:

Why is there a guy putting with a flashlight and not a guy hawking fleshlights?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, they have both. You never know which one. Flashlights, dude. Get your flashlight. Get the flashlight. Life's great, man. Life's so good.

SPEAKER_02:

AMC branded fleshlights changes. You can't take them away.

SPEAKER_01:

This can never air.

SPEAKER_02:

Take two. Well, happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

SPEAKER_01:

Welcome in moderation. The real eyebrow high road podcasts.

SPEAKER_02:

I figured we could talk about Thanksgiving today for those people out there who are maybe nervous about going into family situations. Luckily, they won't be listening to this with their families. If this was a time-honored family tradition for you in moderation, I'm sorry. That's done. And if it isn't a time-honored tradition, why isn't it?

SPEAKER_01:

Make it one.

SPEAKER_02:

Unless they rented out a porn theater to watch this on YouTube, in which case, God bless you.

SPEAKER_01:

What do you normally do? Sit there with family and cut the turkey? Boring. Everybody's done that.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh man. You guys, you guys make such a big spectacle of Thanksgiving. I think that's the number one difference between American and Canadian Thanksgiving. Ours is just this small thing where like the families get together and have a private dinner and you guys like plaster it everywhere. You've got it like a Thanksgiving Day parade.

SPEAKER_01:

We kind of do that for every like, don't we do that for like all our holidays? Isn't it just completely over the top? Like, and like every any opportunity to stuff our faces as much as possible, we take with just reckless abandon.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. It's it's everything's an eating holiday. I mean, what is Halloween like in Canada? Is it the same as here?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, we have to work for our candy by fridging through one to two feet of snow.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, we don't get that anymore. BP and Shell got rid of snow a while ago.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Thankfully. I'm looking forward to my uh, you know, waterside property pretty soon.

SPEAKER_02:

78 degree October's my favorite thing, sweating in a costume. I don't think we'd be able to get away with trick-or-treating at our height, any of us.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh I remember when we were doing it uh when we were younger, we'd have to have like our our snow winter jackets underneath the costumes, so the costumes would be like twice the actual size of our arms because they were filled out.

SPEAKER_01:

I didn't even think about it.

SPEAKER_00:

You could see buff Spider-Man walking around.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Yeah, exactly. You know, here's what you do you have a fucking toddler. People love toddlers. I brought Oakley out. Everyone loved Oakley. They're giving her all the candy and everything. That's the way to do it. I get all the free candy. There might be some other downsides. That's why you had a kid. That's you might have to deal with a few things that you didn't foresee in the beginning, but you know, for the it's really worth it for the candy. That's why we're talking about Thanksgiving today instead of Halloween.

SPEAKER_02:

I just found out recently they actually sell that candy at Walmart for five dollars. I know. Hard life is a lie. Did you guys just hear my walking pad talk a second ago? No. No. Okay. So my walking pad lately, it's it's got Bluetooth for this thing right here. And recently the neighbors have like found a way to connect to it. And every once in a while I will hear music coming through my walking pad. What? Yes. What music they play in Get Low? It's yeah, it's usually bird by the trash man. It's got some bass. Now, if if my walking pad had the ability to play bass, if it had subwoofers in it, I think I'd hear the bass, but it's all like very high frequency parts of the songs. So I'm like missing the beats of it.

SPEAKER_00:

So either your neighbors are expert trolls or they don't know the difference between the Bluetooth devices.

SPEAKER_02:

I think they're trying to listen to music and they aren't getting to it.

SPEAKER_01:

That's pretty great. That's pretty great. I like it. But you know what else is great?

SPEAKER_02:

Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_01:

DeLoreans. Man, I just cannot oh, Thanksgiving. Right. No, Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving too.

SPEAKER_02:

Unfortunately, in the uh in the movie, Marty would have traveled back to 1985 before Thanksgiving in 1955. So he would have just missed getting to have a nice dinner with Doc. Not that you would know. Damn.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I I've never had them in the dark. I know about as much as this is 6'7. Um but like with Thanksgiving, people like I think it's for me, for me, it's like the day you're like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not gonna be worried about like the fact that the mashed potatoes are mostly butter, right? It's like 20% potato, like 80% butter, and like all the other things. Like, I'm just gonna enjoy my day, right? I mean, like, you're with the family. Like, are you really gonna be thinking about like how am I gonna hit my macros with this meal? You know, where you guys at?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, we don't need to be hitting macros on Thanksgiving. We'll hit now it one of the rules that I'll I'll let me go back to what I call my first mindful Thanksgiving. Okay. It was after I'd lost all of my weight, I was actually underweight at this point, and I had recognized that I can't lose any more weight safely. And losing weight wasn't gonna be the answer to happiness and healthiness, so I had to gain. But before I did that, I learned how to maintain. And one of the things that I was doing on Thanksgiving, I'm like, I I I can't bring a food scale, I'm not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's uh Thanksgiving. So that would be rough. Hold on, guys, can you just scooch over the gravy?

SPEAKER_02:

Hold on, real quick. I gotta weigh six more grams of turkey. Yeah, it's like it's it's not gonna go well. So, what I decided on, because I'm like, I I don't know if I'm gonna be able to track anything, I won't be able to reliably count anything. So, how can I gauge whether or not I've had too much? Simple. Don't walk away from the table sick. That is that was my only rule that year, and it's to this day, it's my only rule on the that's a solid rule.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, that's a good rule.

SPEAKER_02:

Don't walk away from the table sick. Have whatever you want, go slow, take your bites intentionally, and just don't walk away from the table sick.

SPEAKER_00:

My thing is you shouldn't end the day feeling guilty. So you shouldn't feel guilty that you didn't sit down and eat with your food with your family. You shouldn't feel guilty that or rather, you you you shouldn't eat so much that you feel guilty. You if you are uh trying really hard to adhere to a diet and you actually do want to stick to it, you shouldn't let people guilt you into just pigging out. Yeah. Like at the end of the day, you should feel good. Not guilty.

SPEAKER_01:

You shouldn't feel guilty about blowing up on your Aunt Marie about talking about how vaccines cause autism now. You don't feel guilty about that.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And the other thing is just eat slow and focus on conversing. It's supposed to be uh well, at least in Canada, it's a day of sitting down with your family and conversing and having a good time. Focus on the conversation rather than the food.

SPEAKER_01:

That is the one. Focus on the conversation. I like that. You're talking to people and instead of just like I have to eat this as fast as possible.

SPEAKER_02:

You can replicate everything else on that table other than the people any other time of year. Exactly. You can make a pumpkin pie in June if you want to.

SPEAKER_01:

It's a good pie.

SPEAKER_02:

Solid pie. Yeah, you're gonna get pumpkin sweats, you know, but it like you can do it. You can make turkey and stuffing in March. It doesn't matter. There's no rules. We have a fascist Nazi in office. Do whatever the fuck you want. I the world is burning. You think he gives a fuck? Oh, God.

SPEAKER_00:

If he wants a key lime pie in December, he will have someone killed to get it. I hear he randomly decided to just unpardon Biden's pardon birds or whatever it is you do down there.

SPEAKER_01:

I didn't even know that was a thing. I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you.

SPEAKER_00:

Wait, he unpardoned He unpardoned the birds that Biden pardoned.

SPEAKER_02:

Are they alive? Like, did he track them down? Do they keep them somewhere? Are they tagged?

SPEAKER_01:

So basically, what you're saying, instead of unpardon, he set out a hit. He set out a hit on birds.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that sounds about right.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my gosh. What did the birds?

SPEAKER_00:

There's a topic for you guys to talk around the table about.

SPEAKER_01:

I guess so. Better than some of the other stuff people bring up. I'll tell you that. Um but like even on like honestly, like Thanksgiving, is it even that crazy? Like you get turkey, green bean casserole, potatoes. What else is there? Lots of pieces?

SPEAKER_02:

Lots of pies.

SPEAKER_01:

And then, yeah, like just where you get your pie. That's not even that crazy.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Sweet potato pie or two, which comes with dinner for some reason.

SPEAKER_00:

Stick to the usual rule, you know, a third of your plate protein, a third of your plate greens, a third of your plate starch.

SPEAKER_01:

You know what I okay. You know what I think the problem is? You know what I think the problem is? Is people go like, well, Thanksgiving's coming up, so I shouldn't like do my diet now. And then, you know, Christmas is coming up soon, right? Christmas is gonna be here soon, so I might as well not even do that. And then I got New Year's, right? So I should probably wait for that. And then you just kind of keep waiting. It's just like, oh no, just fucking have a day where you just eat, you know, whatever's at the table, and then just whatever the next day. You're good. That's it.

SPEAKER_00:

Like you see that a lot in the numbers as a trainer this time of year. Everybody just you you lose lots of clients, nobody's signing up for anything. Right. They're just they just kind of give up for this period of the season. And then New Year's comes and boom, everybody's got to be like, Oh, I've got to get my New Year's body, New Year's resolution.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like, no, skip that shit. And just like have a day in Thanksgiving, eat, and like, and then you get back to like what is it, 3,500 calories and a pound of fat? You're not even eating that much at fucking Thanksgiving. Calm down. People think that you have like one bad meal, one bad quotations meal, and then you know, you gain like five pounds. Like, that's not how it's what's not how it works.

SPEAKER_02:

One day of your year is 0.2 it's like 0.25% of your year. It's not even a full percent.

SPEAKER_01:

No.

SPEAKER_02:

It's barely a quarter of a percentage of your entire year. There's nothing you could do on one day that will mess you up that badly, anyway.

SPEAKER_01:

You could go full Joey chestnut and eat 69, 67 hot dogs.

SPEAKER_00:

Further Liam's point there, um, if you're if you eat five pounds of food, regardless of how many calories that is, you're gonna see the scale go up five pounds because you put five pounds of weight into your body until you water. That doesn't mean you put on five pounds of fat.

SPEAKER_01:

I think that's what it is. You eat all the carbs, you get the yeah, right? You just water shit, and then people are like, damn.

SPEAKER_02:

Don't weigh yourself for a week after Thanksgiving. The number that will be on that scale is a lie. That's a good point. You are thrown off. If you get on a even if you eat normally and you but you had to get on a plane in between, just being up in the air will make you retain water. It's crazy what the human body will do when circumstances change. Don't weigh yourself for a week.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, there's so much variability in our weight, especially around big meals. I mean, until you pass that a five-pound bowel movement, you're still five pounds up. And that's not fat again. That's just a bowel movement.

SPEAKER_02:

I have a picture from last year. I had taken a picture of myself after a Thanksgiving meal. Oh, yeah. And then the next day, and I it's I I hated posting that first picture because I'm you know looking a little round, but the next day I'm good. I'm like, you know, I've got definition again. And it's just like, hey, my body did a thing, it digested.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I consumed so much sodium in that meal that I spiked up for a little bit, and now I'm good.

SPEAKER_02:

And like just enjoy family people will consume the or people will confuse the feeling of being bloated and full with having gained weight. Yes, technically speaking, you have gained weight, like physical, like as if you had stepped on the scale holding a plate of food because it's just inside of you. It's the same thing, yes. But you have not gained a significant amount of fat to the degree by which you feel it. It's give it a couple of days, you're good. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So enjoy stomach bloating is also going to be gas. Because guess what? That's stuff fermenting in your colon, in your intestines. That's gonna cause excess stretching of the gut.

SPEAKER_01:

Enjoy family, enjoy food. Guys, what is your most overrated Thanksgiving food? Turkey. Recipe. You go with a turkey? I'm tempted.

SPEAKER_02:

There's a reason we only eat it once a year.

SPEAKER_01:

It's not, it's oh, it's definitely.

SPEAKER_02:

You guys only eat it once a year?

SPEAKER_01:

It's a turkey.

SPEAKER_02:

It's a trash bird.

SPEAKER_01:

We don't really eat turkey. Like turkey, I don't think turkey is that good. I don't even I don't really enjoy turkey. I don't enjoy turkey. It's dry, it's tasteless, it's kind of gamey. All the things people go through.

SPEAKER_00:

All you guys are telling me is that you guys suck at at cooking.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, what do you are you deep frying it? Because that's what I see. People are doing like going all sorts all out to try to make turkey sounds.

SPEAKER_00:

But um did you see Dr. Terry? What do you what do you guys do on uh Easter and Christmas?

SPEAKER_01:

Candy.

SPEAKER_00:

Candy.

SPEAKER_01:

I just eat a lot of fucking candy, to be honest with you. Okay, especially Easter.

SPEAKER_00:

Like we eat, we eat we eat turkey Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't like sli turkey, like sliced turkey, maybe eat that once in a while, but not really. I don't even eat that. I just don't like turkey. I don't think turkey's very good. I think we should be pardoning all the turkeys. All turkeys get barred. They're not you're not tasty. Get out of here.

SPEAKER_00:

Have we tried other animals yet? Like Thanksgiving lizard, everyone, gather around. So just randomly, randomly went to a vegan eatery recently. Okay. And dude, I'm telling you, the the beef there, the the fake beef, whatever the the I don't know what it was made of. Satan or something. I'm telling you, it was better than the actual ginger beef.

SPEAKER_02:

Isn't that just like basically gluten that's been?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, the satan is gluten, yeah. So a lot of times, like if you get like a chipped beef thing or whatever, like um, I had like a steak sub the other day that was like, yeah, satan. I was like, it's actually pretty good. I was surprised. I was like, this is what I saw. Yeah, they have like a fake turkey, like a uh faux turkey that's made out of tofu. I saw that. I tried it. That was that was I would totally try it, but it's it was$150. And I was like, I'm not paying for that. Uh no, thank you.

SPEAKER_00:

That's a lot. Um I'd rather just get uh a block of tofu and crumple some turkey flavored chips on it.

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely, I would much rather do that.

SPEAKER_02:

No, I'm leaving out Oreos for my vegan attendees. That's it.$150 turkey. No.

SPEAKER_01:

No, thank you. No, okay, overrated. So turkey's good. I'm gonna upset a lot of people. People are gonna hate me. People are gonna like it. But listen, this is more for you, okay? If I'm not eating it, then you're eating it, right? Green bean casserole. I don't really like green bean casserole. I a lot of times the green bean casseroles are like from like the green beans from my cannon.

SPEAKER_00:

You don't like something that's beans?

SPEAKER_01:

Not those type of beans. Not the green beans, those green beans from a can. I do not like green beans from a can. I don't think they're not in the cabinet. They're not in my cabinet. No, they are not, and they will never be in my cabinet. They will be somewhere else because they just any I don't like like regular, like you know, navy beans and all that stuff in the can? Absolutely. I don't like so you make them with fresh like green beans and whatnot is better. I still just I'm not a big casserole fan. I don't put I'm just that's what I'm saying. Not a huge fan. Everyone's green beans on a plate. More potatoes. Give me the potatoes.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I love my potatoes.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, the fucking mashed potatoes. I could just eat a whole plate of mashed potatoes, like just that's my favorite. Just put that on the plate. I'm happy. We're good to go.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's the majority of my plate is potato.

SPEAKER_01:

But the fucking mashed potatoes, man, they're so good. I made dude, I made the cottage cheese. Like somebody put like blended cottage cheese and potato, mashed potatoes, and everyone was tagging me because her in the video, she was like, You all can tag Liam if you want, and then people were like, Let's do it. I made it not half bad. I put a little bit of butter in there to be fair, but like three, four tablespoons, but in like a big batch, so it's like not even that much. But some um uh blended cottage cheese with a little milk or you use bone broth or whatever. That was good. I was surprised by how much I like that. I mean, like it's cottage cheese, it makes cheesy things, you know, for things for cheesy stuff. That makes cheesy things, yeah. It makes cheesy things, it makes cheesy things that go with cheesy and mashed potatoes, solid. I'm just saying uh you don't have to do for Thanksgiving. What I was saying at some point, it's actually pretty good.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what I'm gonna say is overrated?

SPEAKER_01:

What is overrated?

SPEAKER_00:

Mashed potatoes. Because a good baked potato.

SPEAKER_01:

You want baked potato on Thanksgiving?

SPEAKER_00:

You don't who said you need to have mashed potatoes? Come on. Uh, fully loaded baked potato.

SPEAKER_01:

I love a fully loaded baked potato. It's Thanksgiving, motherfucker. Give me the mash potatoes. What the hell?

SPEAKER_02:

A mashed potato is just a baked potato a little further down the line. That's it's all baked.

SPEAKER_01:

It's the evolutionized version of the baked potato.

SPEAKER_02:

Because what are you gonna do with it when it's on your plate? You're gonna start mashing it together and mixing it. So there's that word. Mash.

SPEAKER_01:

Have someone do the work for you. Again, like love baked potatoes, but it's Thanksgiving. Give me the mashed potatoes.

SPEAKER_02:

Rob's like, you know what? I really love eating peanuts with the shells on them. You don't? I wish there was another way of getting it.

SPEAKER_01:

It's crunchier. It's crunchier, more fiber.

SPEAKER_00:

No, no, no. It's yeah, I don't eat peanuts with the shells on them. I eat pistachios with the shells on them.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, it's like bones.

SPEAKER_02:

Bones. It's the but like the patient has presented with many lesions in his intestines. We don't know.

SPEAKER_01:

He tried a walnut and almost died.

SPEAKER_02:

Not because he's allergic, because he tried to eat it with a shell. He ate the equivalent of a chunk of wood to get a quarter of a gram of food.

SPEAKER_01:

We had to pull them away from the buckeyes. We told them they're poisoned.

SPEAKER_00:

No, my actual overrated thing is the stuffing.

SPEAKER_01:

Stuffing. Okay. It's it's kind of weird. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, it's fine. I'm like a stuffing for me is a very just average, like five out of ten, typically. It's fine. I can take it or leave it.

SPEAKER_00:

I'd rather leave room on the plate for the potatoes.

SPEAKER_01:

Potatoes. But you know what I like about mashed potatoes? Corn. I like bro. I remember growing up there was like a KFC right by me, and they had like a KFC famous bowl where they had mashed potatoes and corn in it and some cheese, and obviously like a chicken or whatever. And I would get that all the time. Put a little bit of corn in there, a little bit of sweetness.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh that's the KFC infamous bowl. I don't know about corn being in mashed potatoes.

SPEAKER_01:

Did you never have a KFC famous bowl? Not like that. That was good. I ate that all I love. That was one. I always got that. I like I like but I also like corn and a lot of things. Corn. Corn. I really I really like corn. It's just cheap, delicious.

SPEAKER_00:

Corn is really good.

SPEAKER_01:

Corn's so good. America, baby. We gotta put corn in everything. We put corn in our batteries and diapers. We might as well put it in our mashed potatoes.

SPEAKER_02:

We put corn in our syrup.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly. Put it in my potatoes.

SPEAKER_02:

Put it in everything.

SPEAKER_01:

Like a baked pot, like a load of baked potato, you put corn on that. Why not mashed potatoes? That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. I'm skeptical. Anyone else out there that thinks uh turkey is overrated and dry and everything? Just focus on the veggies. Screw the channel.

SPEAKER_02:

We have a caller. We have a caller calling the inmoderation hotline. Hold on. It's your own trying to connect to your treadmill. Shut the fuck up. Here's Warner Brothers protected music. You'll never be aired again. You'll get a hundred copyright strikes. Man. No, they were just calling to say the turkey sucks. Yeah, I don't.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I I usually just honestly I just like skip the turkey or they I'll take a little bit just so I think people see that I'm eating it. Like, yeah, we got turkey. Don't really need it that badly. You know what I usually do?

SPEAKER_00:

I'll put the turkey on a bun.

SPEAKER_01:

On a bun? That makes it better. Yeah. Like a sandwich? You make like a little turkey sandwich?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh open face sandwich? I guess, yeah. I would I would I don't know. Do we call it a sandwich or a burger? Because you get the dinner dinner rolls. We usually have dinner rolls.

SPEAKER_01:

I'd still call it a sandwich. I would still call it a sandwich. I think the burger is.

SPEAKER_00:

Whatever you call it, that's what I do is I get a couple dinner rolls, I throw the turkey on there, give it a little butter.

SPEAKER_01:

Gravy. Gravy. No gravy.

SPEAKER_00:

And there you go. You've got it's it's better than just the dry turkey.

SPEAKER_01:

I like that. You know what I would put on it? Corn. I was just about to fucking say corn. You know what go great with this? Just little pieces of shit going everywhere. Little pieces of corn. You gotta try to like sequester them in the middle when they go out. That's what I like.

SPEAKER_02:

I like my Thanksgiving meal to sit in my toilet afterward.

SPEAKER_01:

To look back at it. Like, how much does it look like the Michelle Obama might be? We talked about like eat whatever you want, right? Calories through Thanksgiving. All I'm saying is like corn, you don't fully digest it. You could eat, you can eat like all the corn. It just goes right back out. You can only get a few calories. You're sacked.

SPEAKER_02:

William Leighton all corn diet.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm gonna come up with an all-corn diet. Listen, if fucking keto and salve and all this stuff can work, the all-corn diet. I'm gonna I I think I have to lean into the American ism this of it because it's like you know, corn. The cleanse?

SPEAKER_00:

No, that's a corn cleanse, like a celery cleanse.

SPEAKER_01:

Like clean no, I I think the the the stuffed or the or the kerneled. The corned, the corn kerneled. There's I don't know. I think I think the all-corn diet, just saying, I think it would go pretty well.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, so a corn-only diet results in severe protein deficiency, muscle loss, and fatigue, uh, very low fat intake, so we're gonna deal with some hormones deficiencies.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm not saying it's perfect. There might be a few issues, but it'd be very tasty.

SPEAKER_00:

It could be profitable.

SPEAKER_01:

It could be profitable. Fine. I guess it's yeah, we might need some might be protein. Protein deficient a little bit. You got lots of fiber.

SPEAKER_02:

How long would it take of just say you could survive this? How long would it take of just eating corn for your poop to just be corn?

SPEAKER_01:

At least three and a half weeks.

SPEAKER_02:

Where like you you shit and it just sounds like a baby knocking around in a can of paint.

SPEAKER_00:

Pretty sure the turnover would be about three to four days.

SPEAKER_02:

Mythbusters, where are you at?

SPEAKER_01:

That's when they come back, they're gonna do the all corn diet. They're testing that.

SPEAKER_02:

Perfect. Did you have the Mythbusters up there, or do they have to translate it for Canada? Like the fib testers or something?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, they had to they had to translate it. So you know. Welcome to Mythbusters, eh? Just threw in accents. Oh, today we're going uh bust this myth about uh corn in your diet.

SPEAKER_01:

Moose is moosers, mooses.

SPEAKER_02:

Do do moose taste good? Have you had one?

SPEAKER_01:

Forget turkey.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, I have.

SPEAKER_01:

Forget turkey. Canadians have the moose on the table. I think we should go back to the code.

SPEAKER_02:

I feel like that's twice this month I've been asked that question.

SPEAKER_00:

Does it feel like a slide against your people? Is it offensive? No, it's it's something we hunt up here because it's common.

SPEAKER_01:

All right.

SPEAKER_02:

How does it compare to turkey?

SPEAKER_00:

Is it is it uh you guys would probably like it better than turkey.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. It's a low bar, so I'll probably say you're right.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I would only eat moose that I hunt with my car. I'd run it down. I think that the the moose might be.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm pretty sure the moose wins.

SPEAKER_02:

They're hefty, they're like 18 feet tall. They go through a lot of cars. They've got a gravitational pull.

SPEAKER_00:

There's a reason I drive a truck, it's so that if I run into a moose, I am not going to die. Fair.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, how are we gonna drop a moose into a uh deep fryer? That's the problem.

SPEAKER_00:

You need a very big deep fryer.

SPEAKER_02:

That's good.

SPEAKER_00:

We'd have to convert like a jacuzzi.

SPEAKER_01:

Jacuzzi fryer where like the jets are still on and it's just throwing the fucking oil everywhere. Yeah. That could burn down a town. Then afterwards, you lower the temperature down and hop in. There you go. Get it down to like a hundred.

SPEAKER_00:

Get all that oil on your skin. It's very sticky. Nice, smooth.

SPEAKER_02:

You'd have to airlift a 2300-pound animal with a helicopter into this thing. I don't know. It's not impossible.

SPEAKER_01:

You know what I mean? You know what car I would use to hunt moose?

SPEAKER_02:

Would it be made of just like weak brushed aluminum by chance? It would crumble like a soda can under a it might.

SPEAKER_01:

It might. It might rhyme with Ballorean.

SPEAKER_02:

What would happen is you drive towards the moose and the car would split in half and keep going. The moose would just be standing there.

SPEAKER_00:

The moose would just give it a stare and it would fall apart.

SPEAKER_01:

I think I would go back in time before it hit it. I think that's how it works.

SPEAKER_02:

You know when a cartoon character runs through a wall and you see their silhouette as a hole in the wall? That's what the DeLorean would look like afterwards. Just a moose.

SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to Inmoderation, where we give you a few tips, few tips on food, and the rest of the time we talk about DeLoreans and how long it would take to turn your poop corn.

SPEAKER_02:

It's gotten to the point where people are asking me about the DeLorean now, which tells me two things. One, they're hearing a lot about the DeLoreans, and two, they know me from inmoderation.

SPEAKER_01:

I love it. I love it.

SPEAKER_02:

What an interesting timeline this DeLorean has brought us on. It's so good. You don't have to burn all of the calories you consume.

SPEAKER_01:

You do not. Your body to not die.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So if you're going to be like, hey, the next day I have to work out super hard, or for the whole next week, I have to try to burn everything off that I had. Not how it works.

SPEAKER_01:

Not how it works. Not how it works. We're all gonna be mad at you if you do that. And we're all gonna be mad at you, yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, specifically you, Justin.

SPEAKER_01:

Fucking Justin. Always out there burning off Thanksgiving calories. Justin, you're a go-getter, but come on, man.

SPEAKER_02:

Take it easy.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what else is a good idea if you want to get help around the holidays? What's that? Join Mike's group coaching. Shameless. He has no idea I was gonna talk about this. But the so the other week when I was in Texas, I was out there for Mike's group coaching's first ever meetup.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, I'm Mike needs a plan, by the way. I have not introduced myself. But yes, uh, we we flew Rob down because we needed him there.

SPEAKER_00:

He's part of the family. Need is a strong word. Um not necessarily the right word, but but um I mean I said no, no, I got to see him doing his coaching, but we just roll with it. I got to see him doing his coaching in person with a bunch of his clients, and you know, there's there's a lot of um weight loss stuff that revolves around count your calories and do more exercise and stuff, and then you have this man in front of a room of people who are like sobbing their eyes out because they're coming to terms with all this mental anguish that they've had surrounding food, surrounding all these things. And we need more of that. It was because there's a lot that goes on there.

SPEAKER_02:

We need more such a lovely experience. It was um it just really, really fantastic. Like we we joke a lot here and we we joke in the group too, but it you know, we're addressing not just the fat, but the reasons it's there, and a lot of the reasons it's there is up here. It's the brain, it's the mind. You can take a neck down approach to weight loss and end up thinner and sadder, or thinner and exactly the same sad that you were when you started. The only thing that has kept me at my weight that I am now for as long as I have effortlessly is working on all the stuff that made me fat before. And it wasn't just the diet, it was the reason the diet was so bad. It wasn't the exercise, it was the reason that I wasn't. It's so um, yeah. Absolutely. You know what I'm addressing? Oh, yeah, please.

SPEAKER_01:

These chips, fucking all dress are so good. Heck yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

All dress chips. I just let me give a quick shout out to everyone that was there: Smitty, Cassandra, Tracy, Mandy, Sarah, Amanda, Jennifer, and obviously you, Rob. I it all you guys were just fantastic, and I I had a wonderful time with you guys there, and I I can't wait to uh to do more. Sounds really nice.

SPEAKER_00:

And we're doing a drag Liam to the next one.

SPEAKER_02:

I'll go. Oh, for sure. School.com S K-O-O-L.com slash plan if you want to chat about it. But yeah, no, Liam, we need you at at the next one.

SPEAKER_01:

For sure. Where where we have it? The base of a volcano, or like in there's workings of a lot of.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know if the plan was Colorado next and then Canada, the one after that.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, do call I've never been to Colorado. I want to go. That's yeah, I think that is where we're going next, right? That sounds I'm gonna go to Boulder, right? That's a place in Colorado. They got like um That's a place or like rock climbing, I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I freaking love hiking and rock climbing at the same time.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

No, no, really. I'll go out hiking and there'll be a sheer wall and I'll just be like, fuck it, I'm up. Let's combine some safe activities together.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's I I I think Colorado's gonna be our next stop, unless somebody's got a better idea out there. But uh, that's definitely better than Texas. That's for sure. We don't want to do the next one in Texas.

SPEAKER_00:

So if you're out there and you are looking for help on the mental side of things, um, having seen Mike behind the scenes and well, not even behind the scenes, in the scenes. In the scenes. In the scenes, highly recommend.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, thank you, my friend.

SPEAKER_00:

We um what I recommend? And then you'll get to meet us all up at the next meetup.

SPEAKER_01:

You know what I recommend? Buying a DeLorean, eating just corn, and these all dressed chips. That's what I recommend.

SPEAKER_00:

Eating all dressed chips in a DeLorean.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know DeLorean and pooping corn.

Contributor

Liam Layton

Host
Head Shot

Rob Lapham

Host