We Watch Wellness Clips So You Do Not Have To

A chiropractor blames your earrings for draining your gallbladder. A biohacker says nicotine is a productivity upgrade and a cigarette beats a McDonald’s salad. Then we hit the deep end: urine therapy “studies,” aged urine enemas sold as stem cell therapy, yoni steaming as hormone healing, detox wrap services that look like garbage bags, and the evergreen classic of butthole sunning. It’s funny until you realize how many people are taking this seriously. 

We’re joined by Mallory (Instagram: @this.is.mallory), who spends her time tracking capital-W Wellness and the way wellness misinformation spreads across platforms. Together, we break down the playbook: confident delivery, spooky toxin language, scientific-sounding words, meaningless graphs, and a steady drip of “the government doesn’t want you to know.” We also talk about why it’s gotten harder to discuss wellness without bumping into American politics, identity, and the whole “do the opposite of experts” vibe. 

Along the way, we pull out the practical takeaways: how to spot a grift, why extreme content goes viral, what questions to ask before trusting a wellness influencer, and where experimentation crosses the line into dangerous medical advice. If you’re exhausted by health hacks, detox claims, and algorithm-driven outrage, this one will feel like a reset. 

Subscribe for more, share this with the friend who keeps sending you “natural cure” reels, and leave a review with the wildest wellness claim you’ve heard lately.

Transcript

Recording Early And Meeting Mallory

SPEAKER_03 0:18

Hey everyone and welcome to the first time we are recording, not the night before we post the podcast in I don't know how long. I'm pretty long time. It's been many months since we did it recording right under the wire. Wednesday night before it goes out Thursday morning. And listen, I'm proud of us right off the bat. I am proud of us for doing this. Good job.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

Really efficient turnaround time.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Good job, T.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

So this is obviously being recorded before any subsequent horrors that might happen after this. Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

The way things are going, we're so screwed.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

Yeah. I just want to get ahead of anything that might happen beyond this. Um, we are not making light of that. Unfortunately, we can't go ahead and see because we don't have a DeLorean.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

I thought it could only go backwards in time.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

It can go forwards.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

It can go forwards in time this whole time. I thought it could only go backwards, and you're telling me now.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

I know the movie's back to the future, but it's also the future. They're trying to get back to the future. But it's back, though. The first word is back. But if if you count the words like all the health influencers tell us to, you have to count the amount of words, Liam. That's what matters. Not the context, but the uh the amount. Can we um let's let's introduce our guest really quick.

SPEAKER_09 1:42

I'm so happy to be here.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Yeah, no, no. We're just gonna eventually at some point. Guest slash hostile.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

How are you doing, Mallory? What's up?

SPEAKER_09 1:49

Hi, thank you so much for having me, and I feel really honored to be a part of this week ahead uh podcast scheduling. Award-eligible podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

Award-eligible eligible podcast is what we've decided to do.

SPEAKER_10 2:01

We have golden raspberries for podcasts. Which award are we eligible for?

SPEAKER_03 2:05

All of them. All and all the worst podcasts.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Can we get can we be the first podcast to get the the egot?

SPEAKER_03 2:13

I mean, we could. We won't, but we could. So yeah, anyway, I wanted to bring Mallory on because Mallory and I have a lot of fun. We've done some uh collabs before about uh, you know, shit that's going on in like the uh guru space. I don't know, what what do you call it? What do we call what do we call the the space that you talk about?

SPEAKER_09 2:32

Capital W wellness, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, and so and you know, recently that has been really, you know, transferring over to the more like the politics side now that we have a capital double capital W or whatever wellness um as as leading us all to someplace, I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 2:54

Well, timeout. I'm I will say, like, I have been making wellness content. Uh some oh I mean some people would call it anti-wellness content, and I have a lot to say about that, but for a few years now, and I I'm Canadian, I don't particularly want to talk about American politics, and yet I just you can't talk about wellness anymore without talking about American politics. And so here we are.

Why Wellness Content Turns Political

SPEAKER_03 3:17

There's an upside down pyramid right on your head. How do you not talk about it? Yeah, or on below you. I don't know. Whatever. GR it doesn't matter. It's all how you look at it.

SPEAKER_09 3:26

Pyramids and pyramid schemes everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 3:29

Pyramid schemes. Uh it's yeah, the the the the wellness space is quite uh it's an interesting one. And I find it's just so ripe for comedy. Like, I I think it's like that's what you kind of do a lot. It's you just you kind of laugh at it, and so that's kind of what I wanted to do today was just uh Mallory sent us some clips. I'm like, I haven't looked at them, none of us have looked at them, we can just play them and just kind of like you know, find some laughter in the thing of just not remarkably everything else that's going on.

SPEAKER_09 4:01

Yeah, I did try and find some that were on the more extreme end. Because like my content, like I do favor comedy whenever I find it to be appropriate, and it's not like always appropriate because people are being harmed in very real ways.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

He's biting. I can see he's fighting Rob actively right now, for those who can't see.

SPEAKER_09 4:19

He's an anti-vaxxer, he wants us to stop right now.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

Rob's saying he can fight a bear, he can barely fight a house cat. What the heck is this?

SPEAKER_02 4:25

I heard Pippen earlier going, Meow, meow.

SPEAKER_03 4:29

No, I don't know what that was about. But yeah, like I think, and that's the thing, is like what we kind of do is we don't, it's not so much that we're laughing, like how dare you. We're just kind of laughing at the whole situation and how ridiculous it is.

SPEAKER_09 4:40

And like, how did we get here? I had somebody comment on one of my videos once, yeah. Well, you're just leveraging comedy to get people to listen to you. And I was like, that's act, yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing, actually. Like, and still landed on 200 million other people.

SPEAKER_08 4:55

Like, oh no, he thinks I'm funny.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

Like, yeah, like does that guy go to like a like a stand-up comedy show and go, that guy's trying to leverage us for this, that guy's manipulating us.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

Jerry Seinfeld is. I didn't realize what this comedy club was when I signed up for it.

SPEAKER_09 5:12

I took it as a compliment. I was like, this guy thinks I'm funny, so that's a win.

SPEAKER_03 5:16

There you go. Yeah. So I that's the thing. It's like you just kind of have to laugh at it a little bit, and I think that's that's what I try and do with my videos and like just play a few of them, and just like this is so ridiculous. Yeah, because I mean the problem I have with it is like you to for comedy, it's often taking something to its like logical extreme, or you know, you take it to the extreme, and these things are already so extreme, it's like, where do you even go from here?

SPEAKER_09 5:40

Or it's like if you're allowed to say something insane, then so am I. And like if it's just so ripe for satire, um, like it's begging to be made into satire sometimes. And so that's where I think it's you know, um full permission to kind of lean in that direction if they're saying something bananas.

SPEAKER_10 6:01

Yeah, they'll be saying they are not gonna go in order. Do things with bananas, all sorts of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 6:06

So yeah, I mean, I kind of want to just see. Uh yeah, hey, hey Rob, can we play some of these these clips? Because I am I'm I'm curious about it.

SPEAKER_09 6:14

I wonder if they'll go in order.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Are we throwing a clip today?

SPEAKER_03 6:17

Yeah, we're actually that's that's kind of the plan.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Oh, okay. Okay, very talk show of us.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

I know. We're doing we actually had like some sort of plan. We started a week early, and we have some sort of plan before we hit record.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Like this gets us our daytime Emmy, right?

SPEAKER_03 6:33

This that gets us one of the E's and the GOTs.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:38

I have no idea how any of this show works.

SPEAKER_09 6:41

Oscar, we're in the chatting for time for a second playing. I gotta make sure the audio is doubling up.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

Just play a clip of Game of Thrones and we can get our got and move on.

SPEAKER_03 6:49

Only last season, though. Only the last season.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

Oh, that's that's fair. That's fair. Clip is also pending. Award pending, clip pending.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

No, that's fine. We've already been doing so well. Why don't we have something that also makes it worse? Like I feel like that that that would track with us.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Mallory, uh about a month ago, I have a message that I had sent to you responding to a story.

SPEAKER_08 7:11

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

And I said, uh you just gotta give me context on this because I forget what it was about, but I said, nobody's taking away my pork penis protein powder. Do you remember what the context was? Oh, I can see Yeah, because I think you can still see it, because it's it's expired on mine. Very strange things.

SPEAKER_09 7:33

At this point, it could be anything.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

It could be anything. Yeah, I mean, I think it's a good thing. Oh, pork, penis, protein powder. That's old news. We've found way worse stuff since then.

SPEAKER_09 7:42

Um okay, I have it pulled up. It was uh so I shared a piece of content that was not mine, but I found very funny. And it said, the world right now, and it's a Barbie standing in front of a city on fire. And the text says, wellness influencers still selling their colostrum kidney bean pork, penis, protein powder. And so then that puts into great context your response. Nobody's taking away my pork penis protein powder.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

I just I I I enjoy the way that you you tear these things down. You've shared many things about like people that do urine therapy and aged urine therapy. Urine therapy wasn't bad enough.

SPEAKER_09 8:19

I did include some urine in the clips that I sent along. Yeah, that's becoming like ever more present. Like everyone's like, you're in therapy. And I'm like, no, you're in therapy. No, they're like, no, you're in therapy. And I was like, shouldn't we all be in therapy? And they're like, no, like piss therapy. I was like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Oh, we're starting as spray. I love biohacker, supreme. Remember when his whole thing was bulletproof coffee?

SPEAKER_09 8:41

Todays he has a new coffee brand now, Danger Coffee.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Danger coffee.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

Oh, is there neural mold in it? It's like checked for mold.

SPEAKER_09 8:48

Yeah, and like uh he like added in back like minerals or something.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

You have to make it sound sexy somehow, but and they're just rocks, they're not even minerals we need, they're just like other mineral rocks. And they're just like you got pebbles in there. No, no, that's supposed to be there. Those are healing pebbles.

SPEAKER_09 9:07

It's like breaking bad. They're gems, Marie.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

They're minerals.

Cigarettes Versus Salad And Nicotine Hacks

SPEAKER_09 9:11

So, yes, this is Dave Asprey of biohacking founding fame.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

McDonald's or smoke a cigarette?

SPEAKER_06 9:18

If I could throw the dressing away at McDonald's, I'd eat the salad because pretty much the lenders is not harmful. Otherwise, McDonald's salad dressing, cigarette, less inflammation from the cigarette.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

Okay, would you rather Alright? So, right off the bat, we have smoke cigarettes. That's what I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_09 9:33

This is like uh so the reason I included this one is because Dave actually has a few videos like this where someone off camera asks him, would you rather smoke a cigarette or have this thing? Okay, and so this particular one is the McDonald's salad. Um, but uh Dave is also a part of this crew that is now advocating for nicotine being a health hack. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

Because it's the other things that are bad for us. The nicotine is good.

SPEAKER_09 9:56

The nicotine allegedly is good, and nicotine is actually not addictive. They just want you to think that so that you do not get to have access to this health hack. And everyone who is like doing because I did an episode for the Conspirituality podcast on this, and these folks who are advocating for nicotine as a health hack, they're like, Oh, in the afternoon, instead of having another coffee, I just put a nicotine patch on and I feel incredible. And I'm like, I I bet you do.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

I did drugs and I feel better. What? It's insane.

SPEAKER_09 10:27

It's nicotine. I bet you do feel really fucking amazing.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

Um, and guys, I just did an eight ball, and you'll have no I you have no idea how great I feel right now. That's the thing I'm gonna do. I'm pretty sure that's one of the drugs. I don't, I don't know drugs very well. I did a marijuana. I've done a marijuana.

SPEAKER_09 10:44

I quite, I mean, I'm in Canada, and so we have dispensaries. I'm also on the west coast of Canada, so we have dispensaries on every corner, basically.

SPEAKER_03 10:52

That's same here in New York. I've come back here and I'm like, wow, there's about as many of those as there are McDonald's.

SPEAKER_12 10:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

So question for you, Mallory. Do you think Dave Asprey really believes that a cigarette is better than a McDonald's fry, or that he's saying this to be divisive to get attention?

SPEAKER_09 11:12

Um, I get asked this a lot where it's like, do you think they actually believe this? And most of the time my answer is like, yeah, I actually do. Um but like Dave Asprey also his entire career depends on him being a contrarian. And that that plus the most extreme content is what is going to go viral, yes, is kind of where we're at right now. And so, I mean, Dave is pretty well known for saying that his biohacking is going to net him uh a quality life of 180 years old, and that's a number that he pulled out of his ass.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

So because didn't he sell like birthday tickets to his like 150th birthday or something like that?

SPEAKER_09 11:50

Maybe, but I know I recovered his biohacking conference, his 10th annual biohacking conference, I think it was two years ago now, and it's the same theme every year where it's like come here and learn how to live to 180 years old. And I tried to track down the route of where he brought up this. He literally pulled it out of his ass, his asprey, like his this 180 years old. Um and he has said, like, uh, maybe not, but I'm gonna try. Maybe I won't live to 180s. But then I'm like, what are you charging people for um to come to this conference that's$2,000?

SPEAKER_03 12:22

I thought I remember seeing him, like I could be wrong this, but I thought I remember seeing, like, oh, come to my 140th or whatever birthday and buy tickets. I was like, that's the greatest thing ever. I'll sell tickets to my 138th birthday. Absolutely. Cash those checks now.

SPEAKER_09 12:36

Yeah. I you know what? I wouldn't put it past him. So I actually do think that he believes a lot of these things.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

So how is it legal for him to lie this much?

SPEAKER_09 12:46

I have that thought every day as I scroll on all of these wellness influencers.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Is there no way to hold him accountable? It how I feel like if I did this, I would get sued.

SPEAKER_09 12:58

He did receive um like a complaint from the FTC during the pandemic. He made some sort of claim around COVID. Um, and so he did receive uh a complaint, like an official complaint. That's the only thing I've ever heard of there being some sort of it wasn't even really a consequence, but like some sort of like more formal action.

SPEAKER_03 13:17

Hey, hey, hey, cut it off. Jesus has too bad. Badass breeze.

SPEAKER_09 13:23

They're probably just like, hey man, that's not good. Knock it off. Knock it off.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Yeah, no more to all of it. And he goes, ah shut up. Have you heard of anyone in this space getting like something serious? Like, I don't know. Off the top of my head, I can't think of anyone who spread you know some misinformation and got like in real deep trouble for it.

SPEAKER_09 13:42

I mean, like Dr. Oz had to testify around something. Um, but other than that, like when it comes to influencers, I don't think so. I mean, like, again, during the pandemic, a lot of claims around COVID, COVID, I don't know why I said it like that. COVID. COVID. Uh a lot of a lot of folks like received, again, slaps on the wrist. Um, but some fines, like DoTERA, which is a multi-level marketing company, some of their reps were making claims around their oils, like their essential oils. Um, and they some of these reps that were making those claims received, I think it was like a$15,000 fine um for making them. So like around COVID, it's something, but in the general sense of the wellness space.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

The problem with that though is they get fined that, and then they can just say, like, the government doesn't want us, this is how much they don't want you to know. They wear it as taking our money.

SPEAKER_09 14:34

Yes, they wear it as a badge of honor.

Can Anyone Police Wellness Claims

SPEAKER_03 14:36

If I was a well, I'd be like, Yeah, please find me. So I have something to show like my followers, like this, this, this, this is proof. This is proof they don't want you to know this.

SPEAKER_09 14:45

Or if their posts get taken down for misinformation or their quote unquote shadow band, they're like, Oh, they don't want this information getting out. It must be right.

SPEAKER_03 14:54

Yeah, really can't wear it.

SPEAKER_10 14:55

Secrets the government doesn't want you to know.

SPEAKER_09 14:57

Not even the government, it's just they.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

They're all of them. Wait, what do we what do we got now? What's this? What do we got, Rob? Let's play. I'm I'm curious. What do we got? What do we got?

SPEAKER_07 15:07

In your organs and nerves. Men are actually not supposed to have earrings. We have a dominating gallbladder power line which runs through the ear, so when we pierce it, it lowers that power significantly. Women can have a single piercing in the air lobe because this is a neutral zone where none of the power lines go. But anytime you add an extra piercing, you actually sort out the secondary circuits, which can drain things like the gallbladder, thyroid, hormones, digestion. I had a patient who had multiple piercings. I took their heart rate variability before, and I took it after we took the piercings out. They actually had improvement in their coherence and LFHF ratio. This means there's actually a better voltage flow through the body just simply by taking out the additional earrings. That's why the simple fix will help both your nerves and your organs. Multiple piercings right here.

SPEAKER_09 15:54

Would it surprise you to hear that this man is a chiropractor?

SPEAKER_03 15:57

Oh, what? Oh, okay. No. I was I was gonna guess podiatal.

SPEAKER_10 16:04

Just quickly, you know who I was talking to the other day? The one and only chiropractor we trust, Dr. Mike. Guess what? He's no longer given to be a chiropractor.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

Oh, is he going on to something else?

SPEAKER_10 16:16

He's going on to uh I believe he's going for a medical doctorate.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

Okay. See, that's the funny story. We've had Dr. Mike on here before, who's a chiropractor who calls out a lot of other chiropractors who's like, hey, you're spreading misinformation. I'm staying in my lane, this is what we should do, that sort of thing. So a good dude. Good dude. And so it's kind of funny. These like one of the few I found that's good. Now he's like, I'm getting out. I can't no, I can't do it anymore. I need to get out of here.

SPEAKER_10 16:41

Yeah. Okay, can I Okay, I I was padding so that I could get back to this chart. There's no there's no measurements on this chart. Coherence and after, yeah. Like coherence what? And that's not 25%. Going from going an extra one-fifth is 20%, not 25%.

SPEAKER_09 17:02

Are you accusing him of using inaccurate?

SPEAKER_10 17:05

Oh, I'm so sorry. You're right.

SPEAKER_09 17:07

Robbie's a chiropractor. Come on.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

So I looked at just the he said power lines so many times. I don't know how many times he said power lines, but like, you know, you really got to set that on people like we you can't disrupt your power lines, or you do want to disrupt them in certain ways. And here's a graph to show you why.

SPEAKER_09 17:24

So none of you can have ear piercings, and I can have one. I already have more than that. But uh I posted I posted this. I stitched this video with um me. I went for a hike with my dog and it on a location where you can see a lot of power lines. And so I was like, I think these are the ones attached to my piercings, and they seem fine. And it went pretty viral, and I got a lot of really funny comments. Uh, as I'm sure you all know, like the comment section is the funniest. Uh, and there was a lot of people being like, he's right. I got multiple piercings in my ear and my lungs drained right out of my body. Uh, and so yeah, it's I mean like decide when that happens. I know, but they but for the aesthetic, the piercings are you know kind of worth it, I think. But yeah, he has another one very similar sentiment and also around tattoos.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

I thought I remember a tattoo one when I saw this, I was like, wait, I think I remember something about tattoos. Okay, so yeah, just name common things people have and how they don't have them exactly right. Feels like a pretty good, pretty good tactic.

SPEAKER_09 18:27

I think this guy also it's more of a um like a religious thing as well. I think there's like religion woven into it.

SPEAKER_03 18:36

Um could we do something with wedding rings? I feel like that's something because you wear that and it's religious. I feel like you're wearing them wrong or not the right type or they have to be made out of something.

SPEAKER_09 18:44

I feel like you are only healthy once you have them and yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

Yeah, and then we get into people, yeah, like you know, start off with the chastity rings before that, like you need one of these or whatever. Like, no, that could I think I think it worked pretty well.

SPEAKER_10 18:58

A good old cock cage.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

Yeah, I said it. Yeah, I said it. When are we selling inmoderation cock cages?

SPEAKER_03 19:05

That listen, after the advent calendar, I'm still stuck on this and I want that.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

You have to announce a new product every week.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

Can't stop thinking about it.

SPEAKER_09 19:13

Oh, is this the product for my episode, guys?

SPEAKER_02 19:16

Yeah, the values. Oh no. Would you have rather had the inmoderation nutrition bucket? Yeah, nutrition. You put all of your days worth of food into this bucket, you coagulate it, you just sort of slowly suck it down during the day.

SPEAKER_08 19:31

No, I'll take the concave.

SPEAKER_03 19:33

Seems like less of a hassle.

SPEAKER_08 19:34

Yeah, less messy.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

Real quick, just for like our our listeners who are hearing this and being like, you know, the power lines and piercings and thinking that's ridiculous. No one would believe this. That video has 51,000 likes on it. Yeah, which probably translates to like seven, eight hundred thousand views. Yeah. Something like that. It it a lot of people are buying into this because somebody is speaking confidently and saying things that sound kind of spooky. And they have doctor. They have doctor and they have bad math on their graphs.

SPEAKER_10 20:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 20:05

He is his handle is like healing playbook, too. And oh, if he has the the playbook to all healing, piercings and tattoos included, then that's great.

SPEAKER_10 20:15

I shouldn't be surprised because of the whole, you know, people thinking that a quarter pounder burger was bigger than a third. Yeah, I remember.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

That was one of my favorite that's so good. I think we've talked about it before, but yeah, that's why the the third pounder didn't do as well because we were like, oh, the quarter pounder, that's bigger. And this is why we can't have nice things.

SPEAKER_10 20:34

Yeah, four is bigger than three.

SPEAKER_03 20:35

They needed to go half. That was the only way. That was the only way they get people. So they're like, okay, half. I know half the big. I or at least I think that most people would know.

SPEAKER_09 20:44

They should just do away with fractions entirely.

SPEAKER_03 20:46

The pounder.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

I'm gonna release the eight.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

The big ass. Dude, that's that is literally fucking uh idiocracy. We have another big ass fries.

SPEAKER_09 20:58

The bigger, and then the bigger ass fry. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

It's just one big omni fry. It's like always idiocracy.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Every time it always does. Oh, it's got what plants crave. Anyway, talking about that. What do we got next?

Urine Therapy Logic Falls Apart

SPEAKER_02 21:12

We got urine guy. Here we go. Urine therapy. Mallory's favorite date.

SPEAKER_04 21:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

By the way, just for those who can't see this, uh, you can go to YouTube, but if you're not in on YouTube right now, these look like if either of these guys were your lawyer, you're losing the case. Like these aren't these don't look like people. They they know like they look like they know how to make a pipe out of anything. This is these these are not, I don't trust either of these guys, but let's let's go to the failed at becoming D-list celebrities.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

They're cosplaying like people who say you're peeing it out for a reason.

SPEAKER_11 21:49

I would say that they're just not educated. I've been in debates with medical doctors and I've asked them how much they've read on it, and they just say, I was just told in medical school that it's toxic, that we're gonna be eliminating all the toxic compounds from our urine. And we're about to finish a study, actually, that's been going on for about four months with people that we've done heavy metal testing, urine, saliva, and hair analysis to prove once and for all that consuming your urine is not going to add to your toxicity. This is probably the most common question I get. If I'm taking out all these chemicals in these heavy metals, why am I just gonna ingest them back in again? Consider this a mercury molecule is a molecule with atoms. Just think of it like a basketball. That is an active molecule of fluoride, of bromine, of nickel, of aluminum, of arsenic. Now, if you take that molecule, that basketball, and you chop it into a thousand pieces, do you still have an active molecule? No, you don't. You have a tiny, tiny fragment of a molecule that has no charge, that has no ability to hurt you in any way, shape, or form. It's a piece of junk that needs to be out of your body. What we find in urine is we find fragments of these molecules. That's why they come up on the test. When you do a heavy metal test, when you do a chemical test, it doesn't differentiate whether or not that's an active charged molecule that can be harmful for you, an inorganic molecule. It's basically a tiny piece of that molecule.

SPEAKER_12 23:14

It's like a homeopathic imprint.

SPEAKER_11 23:16

Exactly. So you're putting that back in your body, which has shown in these testing that we're doing with all these individuals. We'll be publishing this probably within the next three or four months. Not one person has their metal content or their chemical content has gone up by consuming their urine. It's actually the opposite. It's gone down, which will once and for all prove to people that you're not going to recontaminate yourself by putting urine back in your system.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

What do you say to where is it going? Where is the metal going? I'm so broken after that.

SPEAKER_09 23:49

Guy on the button that was talking most of the time, also a chiropractor.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

Oh, let's go. The guy that looks like a biopsy they took off of Blake Shelton's ass.

SPEAKER_09 23:58

I need a like a staples easy button that's like a chiropractor button. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

Every time. It's like not all, not all chiropractors, but always a chiropractor.

SPEAKER_09 24:09

Yes, exactly. He was also, and I didn't know this and I haven't like looked into it, but anytime I post a video with him, people in my comments will say, Oh, isn't that a doctor that was always on Alex Jones InfoWars? Um so I think so.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

I was getting big Alex Jones vibes that whole time. That makes a lot of sense now. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 24:28

Yeah, I just find it really interesting. Like his whole shtick is urine. Um like uh and I know like urine therapy people think like, oh, they're drinking their own urine. And I need everyone to know that they're also like bathing themselves in it and like washing their hair with it, and there's people injecting urine into their like body. Dave Aspray, yeah, exactly. Remember that we talked about that. So urine therapy, I don't know, just when talking about the studies, it just seems like, hey, if you if you want to drink your own urine, I guess, like I do you. I don't don't make me do it, but like whatever you want to do. And all I can think is like you you all these studies trying to prove, see, it is good. Just do it, just do whatever you want. Like, do it, but stop trying to claim that this is helpful.

SPEAKER_03 25:15

Have you ever tried semen therapy? It really works with the power lines in your body.

SPEAKER_09 25:19

Uh Liam, I'm gonna send you a video that I saw this morning because that is not even a joke anymore.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

I know. Uh it doesn't that's what I'm saying. This is the problem. You try and take it to its logical extreme, and it's already there. It's already made.

SPEAKER_09 25:33

It's already happening. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

How far down can we go? Like, could I start suggesting bleach therapy? It's already happening. And then, like, would I not get in trouble if I was a chiropractor? Like, because injecting urine is objectively dangerous.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

You're gonna give yourself sepsis.

SPEAKER_03 25:51

Also, I mean, just drinking urine, even like let's say this was true, it's not, but let's just say it was there's other reasons to not drink your urine. There's so many reasons, just don't drink your urine.

SPEAKER_09 26:00

Like, yeah. Or like, where can you get those other like same thing? I mean, it's not the same thing, but when these people talk about like the health benefits of raw milk, I just think like I I would just look for somewhere else to get these benefits um that are less dangerous, probably. Yeah. But then Troy Casey on the top, he also again rubs urine into his eyes and like sunbathe. He like rubs his body and then sunbath in his urine.

SPEAKER_03 26:23

I remember that.

SPEAKER_09 26:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

I got tagged in that video. I was like, this is wow.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Has anyone here seen I think you should leave? Yes, Robinson. You know the one thing the the the bit where he goes to open the door and he starts pulling it and they say, Oh, you can't pull it that way. It's it's I was here yesterday.

SPEAKER_09 26:40

It goes both ways.

Raw Milk Contrarianism And Package Deal Beliefs

SPEAKER_02 26:41

I was here yesterday, it goes both ways. I feel like a lot of the wellness capital W influencers, or like the raw milk people, especially, they're like, it it's like that. Like, no, I was here yesterday, the raw milk was fine. And they start just doubling and tripling down into it, destroying themselves, their health, whatever, through the process.

SPEAKER_09 27:01

I think a lot of this stuff doubling down recently, where it was a bit of an exchange between me and another wellness influencer in via video form. Um, I haven't, I've been stitched like twice in the four years that I've been making content, and this was not that long ago. Um, and I had asked the raw milk community, you know, what information would make you change your mind? Um, and so she made a video with some very specific and kind of confusing examples of things that would make her change her mind about drinking raw milk or giving raw milk to her children. And then she flipped the script, but in but deflected also, and she asked me what would make me change my mind about vaccines. And my answer without making it about vaccines is I don't feel passionately about any of my health choices that I would need to double down and defend any of them. Like if there's scientific consensus and like good evidence, like that's how I come to make most of my health decisions, and so that's how I would change my mind. And I feel like a lot of these folks who make their entire brand about these like contrarian, dangerous health health hacks, they feel so passionately about it. And having emotions like that can really get in the way of, well, maybe their science isn't there, or maybe I should um consider the dangers again.

SPEAKER_03 28:17

Because it's contrarian, like partially, I think so.

SPEAKER_09 28:20

Yeah, absolutely. Like a lot of the um I have burner accounts to track wellness influencers so that this doesn't get on my main feed because or else I would never see any heated rivalry edits, and I just don't want to live in that world. Um and so I mean, a lot of what I see on my burner accounts is uh whatever the government says, I'm gonna do the opposite of it. And so they are very much so acting in a contrarian way and also in this crank magnetism way where um science deniers don't often believe one wrong thing, they often believe many wrong things, which is why when you see folks talking about anti-vax or raw milk, they're also talking about the sun is actually good and it's sunscreen that causes cancer, and public schools are indoctrination, and it all becomes a bit of a really fucked up package deal. That's how that works.

SPEAKER_03 29:10

So I think that's that's a good point because I've seen these videos where they say the government tells you to eat less red meat, so you should eat lots of red meat. The government tells you to not drink raw milk. And so these are a lot of things that people believe, and so I think that's easy. They take those and they're like, you already believe this, and the government says this too, so why don't you also do the opposite of this? And then you can get them to believe a lot of things.

SPEAKER_09 29:33

Yeah, and they label themselves, according to their Instagram bios, as like free thinkers. And I'm like, hmm, seems pretty not free thinking to me, but that's just me.

SPEAKER_02 29:43

Well, we're very suspicious of all the free thinkers. But they they all seem to think the same thing, all the free thinkers.

SPEAKER_09 29:49

So free.

SPEAKER_10 29:50

Well, uh much freer. A quick science service announcement is that he made the claim there that if uh you had a molecule of mercury and cleaved it in half, that the testing would still consider it as finding mercury, even though it was inert. If you have a molecule of mercury and you break it down into the atoms, it is not going to get picked up as mercury. It is no longer mercury. It's it's that simple. As soon as you break those atoms apart, it is no longer mercury.

SPEAKER_09 30:21

See, my background's in marketing. This is great.

SPEAKER_02 30:23

My background is in being fat. That's my whole like you need to stop listening to people online. All of us. Like it's the fact that you can just wait.

SPEAKER_03 30:33

Mike, because people ask me, like, what should why should I believe you? Fucking don't believe me. Shit.

SPEAKER_09 30:37

I'm just a dude. I'm just a guy. I get people being like, well, why don't you share more information on what people should be doing? And I'm like, because it's outside my fucking scope. My background's in marketing and social. I actually have a diploma in fitness and health promotion. I was working in like the wellness space. I'm not an expert. Don't look at me. I'm just skepticism is for medical advice. What the fuck? I know. I don't know. I'm like, it's the boring stuff. But also, you're an individual with your own like social determinants of health and like nuance. And that's what these wellness influencers ignore because it makes it harder to sell stuff.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

Let's see what else we're gonna get sold on.

SPEAKER_10 31:10

Sorry, I also got distracted because uh, which is not a molecule.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

Oh, okay. So I don't know anything. I don't know shit about shit.

SPEAKER_10 31:21

That's what I get for hearing molecule from him and just being like, yeah, molecules, blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, it's not even a molecule. Anyway, here we are.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

Think that steaming your yoni is crazy, but it's actually the most accessible way to heal your hormones. Across cultures, women have yoni steam to promote fertility, experience painless periods, treat fibroids and cysts, increase lubrication, support menopause, and so much more. I boil my blend of yarrow, rosemary, rose, calendula, ginger, and lug war, and sit on top with low heat for 15 to 20 minutes. This ritual has literally changed my life. My cycles have never been so consistently useful, and I want every woman to know about it. People think that steaming.

SPEAKER_09 32:07

It was uh it was pretty terrible. I would never try this. I would never ever try this.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

That house smells like dog surgery, guaranteed.

SPEAKER_09 32:15

This is mostly just smell like tea. I think it's mostly just tea. Like, or yeah, like I I all always think about uh Tim Caulfield, who is a really big uh uh communicator in the misinformation space. He had an episode on his show, uh User's Guide to Cheating and Death, where he had Dr. Jen Gunter on and they talked about this practice. And she basically was just like, it's very dangerous, don't do it, it doesn't do anything. Like, why would you it smells like a really nice tea, but why would you ever think that it can go anywhere? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

Uh that's what I was wondering, is like this one seems kind of inert. Like, are you gonna get hurt doing this?

SPEAKER_10 32:52

I mean, this if you ask me, it seems like it's going to increase your chance of a yeast infection. Okay. I don't know. I mean, I'm not a woman, so I I can't test this out for myself.

SPEAKER_09 33:03

There was um the it's different than the one we just clipped, but there's this clip that I have, and it's from a company that sells this honey that basically I was just about to say the honey.

SPEAKER_03 33:12

I saw your video recently, and I was like, what about the honey though?

SPEAKER_09 33:16

Inserting, like getting a syringe and inserting honey like into your cervix, basically. And they, I mean, I made a joke about it, um, but they were suggesting that it would cure or like heal or treat or like do something to a yeast infection. And all I can think of is I think, man, it would suck to have a yeast infection and put honey in it and then get a worse yeast infection. Yeah, plus I mean and be so sticky. Like, why would you ever do that to yourself?

SPEAKER_03 33:43

Sticky, and the main problem is it attracts bears, like that's gotta be really bad. They just show up at your house and you're like, no, no, no, I promise I wouldn't. And they're like, no, I know you are, I smell it. I know what's going on.

SPEAKER_09 33:56

Winnie the Pooh token there somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 33:57

But there, oh, absolutely. It's probably the best way to do that.

SPEAKER_09 34:05

I just think that like if there's influencers, it's the same with all the enema stuff. Um, like various putting things into your rectum for quote unquote health benefits. Like, just don't put anything in any of your holes until like stop letting wellness influencers have access to all your holes and talk to a medical professional. Flared base.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

Make sure it's you have a flared base before you start going crazy.

SPEAKER_09 34:30

Yes. This guy again. This guy.

SPEAKER_03 34:33

This guy.

SPEAKER_10 34:34

This this is the the drop the beat.

SPEAKER_11 34:38

That's why I'm like, why are you gonna pay$25,000 for like 10,000 stem cells when you can cultivate 100 million? By the way, when you cultivate the the the pure stem cells, the memory is is clean. There's no disease memory, there's no nothing on that because the body intuitively knows in your urine to cultivate pure, clean, original source code stem cells. This is how easy it is to do, right? All you do is just take your urine and let it sit for 21 days, 18 to 21 days. At the end of 18 days, you're gonna have roughly 100 million. You know how much it would cost you to get 100 million stem cells from someone? Probably like a million dollars. You're gonna have a hundred million stem cells cultivated, pure, clean, original memory stem cells, and then all you do is take a 60cc syringe with a silicone applicator, suck it up every day, and give yourself a mini anema and hold it in as long as you can. You're getting all those stem cells directly into your system every single day, and then you just do that until the until it runs out, you know. You just got a whole stem cell therapy.

SPEAKER_09 35:45

So that's um a case you missed it. That is urine aged urine enemas with a chiropractor.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

I hate that I love this guy. I like everything he's saying is wrong, but it's it's it's just he's so entertaining. It's so wrong, though. That's what's kind of fun about it. It's so wrong.

SPEAKER_09 36:03

But molecules.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

But molecules and atoms. Talking about like where do you buy stem cells? Why is he talking about like you'd probably maybe be like a million dollars to get a hundred million stem cells? Like, where is he getting it from?

SPEAKER_09 36:16

I mean, uh there's not a lot. Again, they're doing studies, and so there's not a lot to lean on on why you should do various things with your either fresh or aged urine. Um, but another person uh who makes claims similar to this is Gary from Human Garage. I don't know if Human Garage has passed your yeah, you might you might recognize him. Um, but he said, you know, there's this component in urine that is also in shampoos and like conditioners and like body washes. And why would you waste your money at the drugstore buying those things when you can get it for free? And so again, this idea that they're not just drinking it, they're or putting it like in an enema. They're like rubbing it all over their body and clean like cleaning, quote unquote cleaning their body with it. Yeah, and it's free, guys. It's free.

SPEAKER_03 37:05

I think that's an important part uh when you have what for like the the the wellness group is because they they say the government wants your money for these things, our stuff is free, and they give you they give you the free things, and then they're like also if but if you want to you can buy my things as well.

SPEAKER_09 37:23

Yeah, well it's just like an introduction to a sales funnel, like the free, the free guide masterclass.

SPEAKER_03 37:30

Yeah, and then you're in enema is what hooks you in, and then they can sell you all the other stuff.

SPEAKER_09 37:36

What an insane hook.

SPEAKER_03 37:37

Like if you get hooked in with you in enema.

SPEAKER_09 37:41

Imagine that being the urine enema is the soft launch to let. Like like I just and I've attended these masterclasses before where it's the free masterclass, and the entire masterclass is just about the thing that you now have to buy, but they don't actually give any information. Uh, any free guides or just discount codes to products that they're financially affiliated with? Like it's all just one um mega machine on trying to get your money.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

So we've been trying to come up with a grift here on End Moderation for a while now. And what do you think we could do? What kind of grift could we come up with?

SPEAKER_03 38:18

Yeah, it's just selling this stuff. You got a good uh set of uh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 38:22

If you keep chugging that Gatorade in the next hour or so, you'll probably have exactly what you need.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

I'll have all the stems, I'll have a high-flop. You're going along with the urban route. Yeah, well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 38:32

Like starting a grift. I feel like it's so boring, but like in terms of like accessibility to starting, uh supplements is the easiest thing ever. You just like it's all the same companies that make them, and you just slap your own label and claims on it. Like, that's the easiest thing. Pay a bunch of other podcast bros to market it for you, and like that's that's the most popular, easily accessible one. But in terms of a new a new grift, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

In moderation, pork penis, protein powder.

unknown 39:02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 39:03

It hasn't been done for free free cage with purchase.

SPEAKER_02 39:07

Contain the gains.

SPEAKER_10 39:10

So interestingly, I I had to look into it because I never heard of you know stem cells through urine. Um, but apparently our urine does contain stem cells, the kidneys shed them off. A million of them but obviously sticking them up your ass.

SPEAKER_09 39:27

How effective?

SPEAKER_10 39:29

I I'm pretty sure stem cells are probably too big to be absorbed that way. Um they have been used in treatment of like anal fissures, which is like topical. But like the idea of them absorbing anally.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

But I'm like, I'm not a doctor, but if you just drank stem cells, like if you just drank stem, I can't would that do anything? I can't imagine that would do all that. Like, isn't it the stem cells have to have a very specific application?

SPEAKER_09 39:58

I mean, are you trying to, you know, suggest that they would use logic in any of these things? I have the I mean, like, the thing that it seems to be the most um accepted in terms of enemas in the space right now is coffee enemas. And there's these claims that, well, drinking coffee is a burden on your liver. So you can't drink it. But if you put it up your bum, then it's an actual liver detox. And so I just I just don't really know how putting it in one hole versus the other makes that much of a like I I again, my background's in marketing. Um, but I just all these claims are just so uh like it does get pulling them out of the same place.

SPEAKER_03 40:38

Like it does get absorbed. I know, like, because people would do uh use alcohol and put it up their butt so that like they get drunk faster. So like it is you sort of are bypassing some things, right? So yeah, sure, yogurt, coffee, urine, whatever you got. Just jump it up.

SPEAKER_09 40:55

Whatever you have in the pantry today. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:57

I got some Splenda, I think, so we can use some sweetness. I don't mind, just throw it up there and let's see what happens. Uh speaking what happens. What do we got next, Rob? I'm kind of curious.

SPEAKER_10 41:10

I am. Oh. Uh oops. Not in the right window.

SPEAKER_03 41:14

Over under on the uh, is it another chiropractor?

SPEAKER_09 41:17

This is fun because I kind of forgot what I said. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 41:21

At the end of the episode, we have to choose which grift we would buy into. Okay. That's the one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 41:28

Butthole sunning works. You got the sun, which is the source of all life on planet Earth. You have your orphice, which there's three layers of epidermis skin on your body. Center himself saying anal. One of the thinnest mucous membranes on the body. You have all three types of dermis coagulating at the orifice. And so it's a perfect place for that sunlight to drop right in at the thinnest parts. Now, butthole sunning, you only need 30 seconds, maybe to three minutes or so, of doing it. If you're an advanced practitioner, maybe longer. The comment box is always filled with people saying that you're gonna get butthole cancer. But three minutes to 30 seconds is not enough time to get overexposure. It's the energy of the sun going into the energy of your perineum, testicles, sensitive energy parts of your body, the fertility aspects of your body, the virility elements of the human species. You're getting sun and energy on that. You're energizing the taint because that's going to give you more energy out in the day if you don't have time to sit out there and sun your body for long periods of time. So try it at home. And if you're an advanced journeyman of the butthole sunning, please go in the comment box below and help other people realize the power of butthole sunning.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

Have a great day.

SPEAKER_12 42:52

How my feelings are.

SPEAKER_10 42:54

I like how he said every word except anus.

SPEAKER_02 42:57

I had to walk away, so I didn't just laugh through the whole thing. Energize your taint is such a good tagline, though. Energize your taint, trademark.

SPEAKER_03 43:07

Just throw on the virility, too. Like get those balls in there, you know. It's it works on all of it. Whatever bits and bobs you have down there, just throw it at the sun and it's gonna do something.

SPEAKER_04 43:18

Good lord.

SPEAKER_03 43:19

That's pretty great. Because I I this is something I have to say. And you know what? Like, I people always telling me that like I need to get a tan and whatnot. So like instead of spending a whole bunch of time getting a tan, how about I just go, I gotta spend 30 seconds. I only need 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_10 43:37

30 seconds showing your butt off to the world.

SPEAKER_03 43:40

So I'm not really sure. Outside, butt naked when it's in the when it's the middle, it's in the winter in New York. I don't know how well that would go.

SPEAKER_02 43:48

The best part of that video was the where you could see his head was on the sun chair and the the sun was facing him, and he was it was implied that his legs were up because you could see the shadows of his feet right behind his head. And like it that was that shot. It's crazy. You don't see anything, but like the way that he's framing it to imply that like this is what he's doing. Full exposure. I wonder if he's ever gotten a uh a sunburn from doing this.

SPEAKER_03 44:18

Well, he's only he said, Mike, did you not listen to the video? He said only 30 seconds and three minutes, and that's all you need. And it's not a that's you know, it's not enough for butthole cancer. That's not enough for any of the other stuff.

SPEAKER_02 44:31

I burn quick. I burn real quick. Okay, I become I go from this to the color of your shirt and to be fair, maybe 15 seconds.

SPEAKER_10 44:40

He also said that advanced practitioners need may need more time, and he's clearly an advanced practitioner.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

He is. I am very I'm very new to the butthole tanning or the tank tanning or all of the all of those things.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

Well, next week we've got an on-location in moderation episode where we're all going to the beach.

SPEAKER_03 44:58

Which beach are we? We're going to Jamaica.

SPEAKER_10 45:02

I've got a beach up here. It's uh Till I Come Beach.

SPEAKER_03 45:04

That's that'll be perfect for a lot of the other wellness griffs that we got going on.

SPEAKER_02 45:08

Exactly. I feel like it's a pond that Rob dug in his backyard. Throw them all together. It's not a real place. So what's the over-under on butthole sunning, Mallory? How are we feeling about this?

SPEAKER_09 45:19

Can you guys still hear me? Because my yeah, we mic cut out as I anticipated. Um, the over under, under, under under on butthole sunning. Um, this one is so strange to me and so popular, and people are like, oh, you only do it for 30 seconds. And I'm like, I don't need to. Like, I I don't really again, his his claim that the sun just drops right in. All these people just need a really serious anatomy lesson on again, holes in their body and you got the thinnest membrane right there. And that's why I'm not doing it. Also I have neighbors. Like, are we kidding ourselves?

SPEAKER_03 45:56

All right, how about fine? When you do your typical, you know, like steaming that you've been doing with the tea, you throw like a UV light under there as well. You knock out two things at once.

SPEAKER_09 46:07

Yeah, like I have um, in terms of health and wellness, I do leg day and arm day, and then I have like anus day, where I just do all of the all of the other wellness practices. It is really impressive to me how many health hacks are so popular right now that do include the rectum and do include exposing it or putting something into it. And, you know, I I'm the last I will not kink shame. I'm the last person to do that. That is not where we're here. And I get a lot of people in my comments being like, don't kink shame. And I'm like, I actually am not like they're making health claims, but there is, I think, the conversation to be had, maybe not here, around do they just like doing this and they're trying to convince themselves that there was like a like a wellness side to it? Because you're allowed to just do it. You're allowed to just want to put things, various things up your butt.

SPEAKER_10 46:56

If you want to put something up your butt, we're not gonna judge you.

SPEAKER_03 47:00

This feels great.

SPEAKER_10 47:00

You should see a moderation guarantee.

SPEAKER_09 47:03

If you want to put stuff up your butt, fill your boots, fill your ass. I don't care. Like just stop making health claims and trying to get people to join you.

SPEAKER_03 47:12

I think it's because it's so wild. Like if you came out and you're like, okay, what you need to sun is your forearms. Your forearms don't get enough. Get out there. You're so it's gonna be that's gonna be kind of boring, right? But steam your vagina, put this up your butt, put this your butt towards this. Those are more like what huh? Like those, I think that's why it's just like the most extreme stuff takes off and it gets the attention.

SPEAKER_09 47:38

And so whether or not it's for attention and for money, or they actually believe it, or like some sort of combination of all of those, like I don't who's to say. They are apparently, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:50

They always if you try to go against them, they'll call you a um I don't uh Liam. I know you saw um Ella's video, Scientific Snitch, earlier today, where uh with the ranking the fitness influencers. Yeah, calling you guys credentialists.

SPEAKER_09 48:05

Oh I've seen that credentialists.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

Yeah, new I had not seen that word until today. I'm like, yeah, wow, that's they they came up with a slur for people they don't want because you've been taught by the man.

SPEAKER_03 48:16

You've been taught by they. So yeah, it's it's actually it's better to have, you know, some but then also it's good to be doctor. So I don't know. It's it's interesting where it's like that stuff is bad, but also then like being a doctor is good. I don't know. All right, what else we got?

SPEAKER_02 48:31

All right, what's this one here?

Detox Wraps Lymph Massage And The Price

SPEAKER_05 48:32

Oh boy. And this whole process is so crazy. So first they start by like putting a magnesium salt on your body, sandwrapping you while you're on a vibration plate before getting put into a sauna blanket where you sweat out all of your demons, and I guess the magnesium salt like helps to pull out all those toxins. And while you're doing your little sweat session, she starts by doing a lymphatic drainage massage on the face. I mean, look at how sweaty my body is. It's insane. While she works on the body, she does a little red light therapy on the face, and then she moves into the lymphatic drainage massage on the body. So she starts by opening up the lymph nodes and basically just like pushing all of that fluid into those lymph nodes. There are so many benefits to this, like helping your immune system, helping circulation, and basically just like helps your lymph nodes manually drain to help the body detox. So this isn't like your normal relaxing massage, okay? So obviously the pressure is like a little bit more firm, but I truly feel like a new human being every single time after I do this. When she does my stomach, I legitimately hear like the gas and everything breaking up in there. It's it's so wild. And I'm not gonna lie, one of my favorite perks is that it gets you majorly snatched up. Probably one of the most.

SPEAKER_03 49:43

I was just gonna say, like, people see these and they're like, well, I can't afford all that. Like, even if you did believe it, some people believe it, like, well, I can't afford this or vibe, vibration plates and massages and all this stuff. So like I can't even afford it. What's the point? I'm too poor.

SPEAKER_09 49:56

It looks like she's just covered in garbage bags at the beginning.

SPEAKER_02 50:00

Yeah, I guess it's serene wrap. But like they're shrink wrapping her at the beginning, and then they bring her to like this table where she gets wrapped up in in like a weighted blanket.

SPEAKER_09 50:10

Or like a winds out the demons.

SPEAKER_02 50:13

Yeah, and then it became a massage.

SPEAKER_03 50:14

Which can we just like massages are great, they're good. Yeah. You know, like I think that I got the I think they have health qualities to them. So like maybe we just we skip all the vibration plate and the saran wrapping. Like, hey, go get a massage.

SPEAKER_09 50:28

Yeah, I just I really do think they're garbage bags, guys. I can't imagine paying.

SPEAKER_03 50:32

It's affordable.

SPEAKER_09 50:33

I think that these massages I think when I looked into this one, uh I'm gonna misquote it, but it was like in the hundreds of dollars for like one of these things, and like I just can't imagine they're using like Costco garbage bags.

SPEAKER_10 50:49

It's look at this. Worldwide, by appointment only, we come to you. So you're paying for their plane ticket. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 51:00

Plane ticket plus baggage, too, because they're bringing a lot of stuff. I have these garbage bags. Will they work? Absolutely not. You've got to use our special garbage bags.

SPEAKER_09 51:08

Maybe that's your gift. Maybe you just found it.

SPEAKER_10 51:11

775 bucks to book one of these people for a single 775 American.

SPEAKER_03 51:18

Not a casual.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

I want to do this. Mark, I could probably mark it off as a business expense if we put it on the podcast here. And uh we'll just uh see what what's going on, you know? Why have we not done a field trip?

SPEAKER_09 51:36

Why should? Ooh, let's all go to Dave Asprey's. We can all go to Dave Asprey's biohacking conference.

SPEAKER_02 51:43

Yes, let's do that. Are there any in Canada that we could come to? Are there any in Canada that we could come to?

SPEAKER_10 51:48

Oh, there are one um I don't think so. Is that college I I use the college loosely um in Ontario that puts out those fake nutritionists?

SPEAKER_09 51:59

Oh okay. I'm from I grew up in Ontario and yet I have no idea. Dave Asprey used to have he has these upgrade biohacking labs. Um, and one used to be in Victoria, which is where I live. And it was because he used to have property uh close to Victoria, I guess. Um and within I think two or three years, it it shut down. So not enough business.

SPEAKER_03 52:22

Well, we can help with that. Uh we got anything else, Rob, or so was that the last video?

SPEAKER_10 52:26

There is one more.

SPEAKER_03 52:27

One more. All right. I think we could on time. So yeah, we'll do one more.

SPEAKER_10 52:30

So yeah, sorry, I was trying to find this college.

SPEAKER_03 52:32

If they've they've I thought you were booking that appointment now.

SPEAKER_10 52:35

Maybe I was, and I'm just, you know, making it straight.

SPEAKER_03 52:38

I need those magnesium salts. Robin coming in next week.

SPEAKER_10 52:42

But yeah, this college in Ontario, they have their own trademarked um title. It's some sort of fancy title, uh diet, nutritional therapist, something. I don't know. They've got it trademarked so that only they can use it and they give it to their students, and it doesn't mean shit. Uh it's the two provinces, Alberta and I think Nova Scotia, they aren't actually allowed to use it because of regulation regarding the way the title works. And so they actually have to use a different title if they are in Alberta.

SPEAKER_03 53:11

Yeah, because it's like nutritionists is like regulated in Canada, whereas here we're just like, fuck it. Anyone can be a nutritionist.

SPEAKER_10 53:19

Don't worry, guys. Sunglasses make you sunburnt.

SPEAKER_09 53:21

Last one.

SPEAKER_02 53:21

Here we go.

SPEAKER_10 53:23

Sorry, let me restart that.

SPEAKER_02 53:25

I forgot to hit the this is a guy in his car wearing sunglasses.

SPEAKER_01 53:28

Alright, we're just going with this. So now that you know that sunscreen's bullshit, here's another scan that you've been solved. Sunnies. They seem like the smart option. Some people think that they look good, but in reality, they're getting you more burnt than anything else. This is why. Now your eyes aren't just pristine, they are part of how your body recognizes sunlight. When light hits your eyes, it tells the brain that you're getting sunlight. That signaling messaging is really important. It increases your tolerance to the sun and helps you build your solar cellus, building melanin, increasing blood flow. But when you put these on and you just lay there in the sun, it blocks that signal. So your skin is getting smashed with UV, but your brain isn't aware of the exposure that's happening. And that's where everything goes wrong and you get sunburned. The protective response to UV within your skin doesn't signal properly. And that's when you can get burnt. Even when you get that morning sun, even when you prime your skin, if you don't have the right signals that are coming from the brain by the eye, you will get burnt. Now that doesn't mean that you don't wear sunnies ever. But it's where are you? When you're driving directly into the sun, that's a smart time to wear them. When you're laying at the beach and you're sunbaking or you're going for a walk, it's a terrible idea. If you actually want to stop burning, then stop locking the signal. Build your tolerance, get morning sun, have gradual exposure, sleep well, lower your inflammation, optimize your mitochondria, and be sun smart. Not the government's version, nature's version. Peace and love.

SPEAKER_10 54:41

Government mandates. To all of our blind listeners, uh, don't ever walk into the sun. You will get immediately burnt because you can't build up your solar callus.

SPEAKER_09 54:49

I would love to note for everyone who can't see the video and like is only hearing this. He's in he looks sunburnt. Like he looks like he's burnt. Oh, he's totally sunburnt, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:59

Maybe he just figured this out that wearing the sunglasses made him more burnt.

SPEAKER_09 55:04

Got into his car, pressed a car.

SPEAKER_10 55:06

I am shocked. Also, why does he own a pair?

SPEAKER_03 55:10

Well, because no, he said in the video, that's what I'm saying. I'm shocked that he's like, actually, there are some times that it's useful. I that's that's like, listen, any level of nuance that these people give, I am shocked that they actually do it. It's usually always this, always that, never. So to actually give like, yeah, to actually give like, okay, in this scenario, you should wear. I'm impressed. Was this a good video? Of course not. But like, I'm impressed that he gave any level of nuance to it. Good for him.

SPEAKER_09 55:37

You're kinder than I think the rest of us.

SPEAKER_03 55:39

No, it's uh no, it's not good. But like, listen, we just heard people injecting urine into their butts, you know?

SPEAKER_10 55:44

Like, so like, oh, this is definitely the least of the things.

SPEAKER_03 55:50

He's like, but this guy said, hey, you should wear sunglasses sometimes. That's impressive compared to the other things we've heard. My bar is so low that I'm like, hey, that's actually not bad. Now, the whole like optimize your mitochondria and don't listen to the government's recommendations, you know, it's it's it's interesting, but like I'm impressed.

SPEAKER_09 56:10

Yeah, I mean the sun stuff is kind of interesting because there's this idea that like you shouldn't wear sunglasses because you're blocking again your like brain or your body's ability to like self-regulate, and like that's why you're burning so easily. And um, there's also when it comes to sunburns, like this uh claim that if you cut out seed oils from your body, you'll stop sunburning. Yes, that one's also very popular. Um, the idea that like sunscreen, we've been taught, we've been told that the sun is causing cancer, but that is the thing that gives us life. How could that be true? And it's actually sunscreens that are giving us cancer.

SPEAKER_03 56:46

Yeah, that's something you see. Like, if this is good, then it's always good. And there's no yeah.

SPEAKER_09 56:51

The sun is natural and life-giving. How could it ever be bad? It's like, but it can. Same with water. It's like if you drink enough water, it can like poison you. You can overdose on water. So I think um again, that's where the nuance kind of drops on, drops entirely off.

SPEAKER_03 57:07

Yeah, they just you leave out the dose on everything, and yeah, it's it's a lot easier to be a wellness grifter.

SPEAKER_12 57:13

Yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_10 57:15

I mean, all I pretty much have to say is that blind people exist and they don't spontaneously combust when they walk outside.

SPEAKER_03 57:22

This is true. This is true.

SPEAKER_09 57:24

Isn't this fun? Hasn't this been fun?

SPEAKER_03 57:26

This has been a good it's been a fun trip around the internet.

SPEAKER_09 57:30

Yeah, my saved folder is a hot mess, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 57:34

Oh, and I'm sure like you get like because I listen, I complain about getting tagged in cottage cheese over and over again, but like your stuff is way worse, so you know.

SPEAKER_09 57:43

I and that's why I have a burner account because I um I refuse for my personal algorithm to be infected. And when people I don't get tagged in stuff very often, but people will send me stuff and I just immediately hand it over to my burner account. I'm like, oh nope, not here. Not not today, not here. We'll just pass it right on over. Yeah. But uh sometimes uh things sneak through, and that's okay too. It's just like so, I don't know. I've been doing this for like four years now, and I used to have to like really go searching in like an alternate reality for these videos, and it really is like logging out to my burner is like an alternate reality, but now they're like so much more present and so much more popular. Again, they sneak through onto my onto my actual page, and I'm like, what are we doing here?

SPEAKER_03 58:26

Well, we're about to find out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 58:28

Well, if people wanted to find more sorry, I closed out Instagram and the very first thing I saw was Christy Noam just got fired.

SPEAKER_03 58:34

Yes. Oh, I didn't even see that. Interesting. Can't say I'm super surprised. But if people wanted to find more interesting things, people putting stuff up their butts and all the other, you know, various things, where can they find you?

SPEAKER_09 58:46

Thanks so much. Um, I am I would say I'm focusing a lot on Instagram right now. My handle is at this.is.mallory. I uh the hope this year, I mean, I have an unrelated full-time job. I do this all in my spare time. The hope this year is to get a YouTube channel for more long form content up and running with like more deeper dives. Anything meta, like Instagram has told me anytime a video is more than three minutes long, we're not gonna show this to anyone. We're gonna penalize you. And so I feel like some content requires a bit more depth. And so hopefully I'll be over on YouTube later this summer. Um, but yeah, thanks so much for having me. This was fun. I look forward to seeing your wellness grift.

SPEAKER_02 59:25

I'll raise a glass of year into that.

SPEAKER_10 59:27

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_09 59:28

Cheers. One cheers.

SPEAKER_10 59:30

Cockage is coming soon.

SPEAKER_09 59:31

Again, I did not I did I listen.

SPEAKER_03 59:34

You accepted it. You already said yes on it. We gave you the nutrition bucket and you turned it down.

SPEAKER_02 59:41

We could sell those croc charms to put on them too, so we can start making even more money off of these things.

SPEAKER_10 59:46

Look, if you can find a way for us to make a knockoff scroll talks and market it really well, we'll give you that one.

SPEAKER_09 59:52

I am my background is in marketing, so as soon as you need help, you just let me know.

SPEAKER_03 59:56

And listen, art's just pure aesthetic. We're not making health claims. We're like, we just think the balls look better this way. Like, so you know, this is you can't come after us, right? This is just an aesthetic smooth.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:08

Yeah, but until you start including crystals, that's when the health claims start coming in.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:12

Well, our crystals are no, ours are just like gemstones to make it look fun.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:17

Dazzling. Now it looks shiny and smooth.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:19

So it's I had suggested third ball implants, but I was vetoed by everybody on that. I feel because like if if you give somebody an insecurity and then you sell them the solution, but I think we've touched like everything. Maybe like armpits. I don't know. I don't know. We're gonna figure something out one of these days.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:38

We're gonna figure it out. We'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:39

We'll raise the money for our DeLorean. Cheers. Cheers.